Firewhiskey Fic: Mrs Black's Tears
by l0stinl0ve
Summary: cell [mobiles] phones are the latest rage - My February 2013 Firewhiskey Fic entry - no betas allowed - drunken misspellings and other mistakes must be left there, making it all the more funny!


**For Firewhiskey Fics, no betas, autocorrect, or spell-checking are allowed!**

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**Pairing(s)/Characters:** everryone and everyone? terehs some draco and hrmioene and hrary and bliaes

**Challenge:** Sexting

**Summary: **clee [moibles] phosen r hte latest rgae

**Rating/Warnings:** r - sxemxy sexy tlkas

**Word count:** fitenef hudrend

**A Winner:** Won the "LEAST COHERENT" and "FAVOURITE ENTRY" award at the LJ February 2012 FirewhiskeyFic Fest.

**Author's Notes:** wraing drruinks is furnsy

**I REPEAT:** **For Firewhiskey Fics, no betas, autocorrect, or spell-checking are allowed!**

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haermione was excited. she finally managed to convince her boyfriend to get a cell phone [mobile phone if you're britishi]. it took promissing him some racy stuff but it she didn't think she'd have to follow through.

boy was she wrong.

*it took me hours to figure out how to send this* [* means its a text message because writing the html stuffs may backfire on me]

she gigigled. fillped her phone open and texted him back *it took me a minute*

*well yuour muggle-bnor*

*don't be bigoted*

*i'm just tstating the obvious*

*well shut up*

*you promisedd me pretties if i got a phone!*

hermione cringed. she was hopiing he'd forget about that.

*find here!..*

*what are those sppsed to be?*

*what do you think?"

*umm tits?*

*YUP!*

*yourss are bigger than that though*

*oh like..*

*those are too big now*

*i'm sorry i can't draw perfect breastss*&

*yourss are perfect send me a pictures like yuou promised*

hermione looked around her sefl to see if she was alonge. she wahs at grimmalud placec liviving with harry and roon and they would hit her if they knew she weas sendiding naughtty pictures to draco malfoy.

she looekd left and she looked tight and then faceplamed because sh ewas in her room! she transnsfigured the curtrains into a mirro and then took off her shirit. she took one of those pictures that cam whores on myspace like to take buut she didin't make the duck face.

send!

*yummm send me mores!(*

*nnoo you esnd me one first

she efumebled on her bed and heard footstepsp from somemwhere else in the housee

she heard the musuic from when you tkake the boats to hogwarts and realised her pohne was going off. she pfipped it open ans dsaw her faovuirte thing ni the worold. it wasa nicie and long and it was hard and she could just feel it in her coore.

*is that foro me?*

*oh yyes itss waiiting for you*

*oooh and wherhe would you puptu it?*

*ifirst between your prpefct size breassts

[itss hard to rmb to put hte asterisiks at the end of the liness o form now on if itss at the start that means its a stext message]

*isi sthat all?"

'hermioen! what are you doing/ harry hosuted opening the door tot he room that he wans't allowed in.

[i took a brbeka to get more booze and now i forgot what ahwas happening so here's something else]

can i seey that pictureu harry asked.

NO! IRTTS MINE! herimonen held the phone to her chesst and jumped to the ohters die of her bed ot get away.

harry chased her and hermione ran outside down the hallway and down thst aris waking up the loud and scarry picture of sirius smum. she shoutued about how halfbloods and mudbloods need to use their insidie voices and not run indoors only fillfhty people did that and then hermione and harrry stopped running and turned to shout back at her and tell her she was a teriinble person and was abd and killed her sons. then walburga dstarted to cry fat tears that you could see falling from the picture which was weird and shouldn't happen cause i don't think it's actually posisble but whatever this is my fic i can make things up. it's magic is a great excuse for everytihngm.

anwaysy

harry askekd to see dracos dick cause he hasnd't seen it since school and he wa sjlealous cause hermione was hogging it allt o herselfl.

shhe texdtred her bf andn told him she was sbieng mollested by his exlover and needed hlep but draco ingored it and said hed only come if he coulgdl get some picutres.

harry grabbed the phone and started snogging his best friend and heldl the phone out and whatnot and started randomly pressing the ok button to get pictures. he did that thing where you are odoing stuff and then looking at the pohhne with one eye and what not.

ehremoine shoved him off her and then tried to saend the pictures to dacro and he saw them and was like yummy so he texgted them to waitifor him and he came over and then he started making out with boht of them and nexx thing you know they were rolling on the floor taking fof clothes and makaking out and dicks where goingn places and hermiones boobs were going places and msr b lack was watcching and crrying but faccsinated and it was likeka trainwererck and she couldnd't look a way.

it waas all very hot and theyey werer ehaiving fun and when it was sifniehed draco saidi that harry needed a phoene so they could dodo theis more otfen.

PARTS DESX

[just so you know beforeo this was part une andnndow now wer'e on paprt dexu. i t5ook french in highschold so thiss is me tyring to using it in later life]

harry wsa wannking his coock. it was a nice cokck sure but not as nice as draco's cause let's be honest. draco is hot. and verry little is hotre than mhi.

hermeion was awlso wanking. she had her phonen out and shw was sexting with her bofyriend who was tradindg smexy photoso with harry. and that was what harry was wkaning to.

and then int sext messages they were all talkling about how was hotter than hwo and whow ouild be hotot see shaagging.

severrsus with lucuis and narccsisa was hermieones favouritie

draaco saidi they weren't allowed to think his paprents that way and said mamaybe lilly and severrus ould be fun too watch.

harry crried cause they talkekd about his dead mom so hermioene tried to cheer him iup and say she thought it was hot when he wass snogoging harry lasst time.

harry stopped crying and said thiinking about herionoe and nron was groso.

she hda to oagreee.

they texxdted ron and toldl him so but he texted back saying eh was bussyith pansy and she said to tinkh about mr andns mrs weassly and they all to go ewww to that.

dracco threw up in his moutht a litltle bits.

thenen they goot at ext mesasge from blaise and he saidi he wanted ino on ths eexting so he got himself a cell phone too. harry and ndraco askekd for pictures but blalise was lame and goto one oft hose oldl brick nokia phones. so ohe dhe haked hermione how to send themem jhis dick and she shoeod him how too do itn like boosb

he send thme this: B============================================D

ahrys jaw dropped butu draco saidi blalise was a liar. blalise joked about siticking it into haharys gaping mouth. butt hen hermrione said you caon't doo that ovoer the phones so blalise went ot grimamld [this worod sucks swhen drinking] and stucck his dick in harry's motuhg.

hermeions and draco ignroed them but hearrring the shlruping soundss makde hermione horrny so shehe toldld dracco to ltel her deirty thinks.

heh sednts her the idieas for him eatitng her hout. and he wass very vidid. abouts it. itit made her moreo horny and she coudoldln't waiti for more so hes wnet to ahrry's room and decidied to play with harry and bliase but they tol,ld draco on her and he came back again and thenn it awls all forur of them plalaying tooge4there.

and msr blakc was crring form the hallways bfecause she thoughs her ohouse was now a brotherl and it was all sorts of dirty.

P:ART TRIOS!

trios trois woohoo! jthis part is wehre they all took their phones and they mamde the phones hump each other ebc asue it was sextting in a litteral sense kind of?

PRAR QUARTRE

gniny was feeling lefts out so shehe made someoen help her get a clee phone. it was proabbly dean or maybe tracey davids causse she might've bene a halfboold we dodn't know. and they tooked there to the onearets mall and they bought an phoned from appled and aeveryone made fun of ehre because it wasstupid and ginny didn't know owh to useud it butut apples were supposed to be ezst to use. whichi is bolloks.

so they retutrned it and seh got a balkberry which is pwrost but noo one told ehr cause they didn't want to go back anymore.

she sendn a texxt message to neville who was confused cause he ididn't give his number to annoyone uother than luna. so whened he gots a texxt mssag saying somoend wonated to sucks his cock he thohght luna finly got a moobiel [i rmb it's called this in briatin] and he txted her back about sying how having her lips wrapped around it woulld b e nice.

then lunan came and found hmi wankins wihle ona some weird diveice and she was all mads but in her werid waay saing the anrgles triciked him.

ehhe shouted dan dpressd the green butorn to the numnber and yeleld at ginny

she crried.

PARPT FIVIE [ithink thats' the number i'm one]

EVERYONE WSA HAPPY WIATHH THERIE PHONES

ecsept ginny btu noo ones cares about her shed a bigch

The NDE!


End file.
